When most of us think of reinforcers, we think of things like candy, high fives, and bubbles. Obviously those things are only reinforcing to people if they enjoy those things. 
It’s interesting to observe children because we see at a very young age what is and isn’t reinforcing. When the baby spits food back into your face, I think it’s clear that either it’s really reinforcing to see your reaction, it feels good, or it tastes or feels really awful.
On my very first session with families I ask what is reinforcing to their child. Sometimes families are quick to respond with: his truck, cookies, or playing outside. Those things can definitely be reinforcing to your child but there are so many other things that can also be reinforcing that you may not have thought of.
Sometimes a reinforcer is something other than a tangible item. It may be a pat on the back, a look of approval, or the dogs running to gobble up the dropped food from the highchair.
What should I do?
My suggestion to families is to observe, observe, observe! What makes your child laugh? What behavior will she continue over and over again? Sometimes the things that are most reinforcing for children aren’t toys or play things. They could be pushing the furniture around or throwing snacks to the dog. For some kids the most fun activity is banging items to make a loud noise. Other children love carrying a heavy backpack around the house.
I often have parents tell me that their child does something “for no reason”. We all do things that others think we shouldn’t do but they are always for a reason. We do things because there is something to gain. It feels good, we gain attention, or we get something that we wanted. Sometimes that thing is a tangible item like bubbles. Occasionally it’s a reaction like the dog running to get the dropped food.
For many families, time out is a punishment or a break from a situation that is causing unwanted behaviors. For some children, this is a reinforcing situation. When you have a child who craves isolation or feels unsure about social engagement, he may intentionally exhibit behaviors that he knows will result in placing him in time out. I have had this situation occur with families. This is why it is so important to observe your child especially when he is in different environments and with different people.
Knowing what is reinforcing for your child will help you during therapy sessions and also during your own engagement times with your child.
Talk to your therapist about reinforcers that you may have noticed during your daily routines.
What is reinforcing for your child?
From what we have learned something as simple as cheering on our daughter amd clapping. The face she makes when we do that is priceless and we can see the satisfaction she gets from it, to the point if we do not respond fast enough she will clap amd give herself the praise (Yay I did it). I do find it is so easy to focus in the negative behaviors. We are in the constant struggle finding a way to redirect during the tantrums or the hitting. We try to praise the stopped bad behavior (good job showing nice hands, etc) but sometimes it is not always effective. Do you have any advice or alternatives?
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