For some families, mealtimes together are only a dream. Being able to sit at the same table at the same time seems so unreachable. Some of the families that I work with have made some changes in their habits that have proven very successful in dining together.
If you are interested in having your child eat meals with you or even go out to eat as a family, read on for tips and strategies.
Why is it important to dine together?
Mealtime is a social time when we get together with family and/or friends to share a meal and conversation. Because ‘social interaction’ is often a goal for our kids, why not work on this goal within the daily routine of eating? This is a natural time to reflect on the day and have some uninterrupted “screen-free” time to interact. Having the habit of no devices at the table during meals will place the focus on the meal and the people who you are enjoying it with. Because everyone is seated at relatively the same height and facing each other, you are encouraging eye contact and social engagement.
Sitting at the table without devices will be a challenge!
Yes, many times it is challenging to change habits when a child has been distracted with a device in order to eat. If your child has concerns with eating habits, doesn’t eat much solid food, or has concerns with textures, contact your pediatrician. Discuss gaining a script for an evaluation with an occupational therapist or speech/language pathologist. You may also contact your local early intervention program for kids under 3 years.
How to boost interest and interaction
Make the meal the “event” or the focus. Have your kids help prepare the food in some way or have them serve themselves (with or without your help). Assist your kiddos scoop from a larger bowl and place into their bowl (or plate).
Keep the focus on the food and continue to give them jobs to do. Maybe they can serve others too, after they have taken a few bites.
Have dips or sauces for kids to try. Sometimes having little dipping bowls or plates with dividers are helpful so that foods are separated and don’t touch.
Eating at a restaurant is a possibility.
These ideas will help you with successfully eating out:
- Use a restaurant app or a call ahead app (food/restaurant) to reserve a table with little to no wait time.
- Call ahead to order your meal so it is ready when you get there. Not all restaurants will do this, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.
- Check out the menu online so you are ready to order your food at the same time you are ordering beverages. Have a sibling help by taking everyone’s order by writing it down or drawing a picture.
- Take some fidgets along or a sensory wallet or photo album for entertainment. Hold off on food as long as possible, so you can all eat together. Many times kids will snack to stay busy until the food arrives and then are ready to go when your meal is served.
- Weeknights and earlier times may be better (less busy) for many restaurants. Ask at your favorite restaurant what days and times are the least busy or the shortest wait time.
- Taking familiar utensils and cups from home can be very helpful. These items are familiar and can help with independent eating and drinking when you are out and about. You may want to keep an extra set in the car just in case.
It’s so discouraging!
Try not to get discouraged! Going out to eat is a big deal and the focus should be on having a fun meal with the family and not stressing about what might happen. In reality though, we all worry about what could go wrong. When you haven’t had good experiences, it’s extremely difficult to put yourself in that situation multiple times.
Another thing that you can try is practicing the wait time at home.
Practice, practice, practice
Help your child practice waiting at the table at home with crayons and fidgets (briefly) before you serve the meal. Remember, baby steps at first.
Observe your child to determine how long she is sitting at the table. If she can stay busy with fidgets, crayons or items mentioned previously for 30 seconds consistently, then your goal will be to maintain that and boost to 40 seconds, and then 50, and then a whole minute.
This may seem daunting but totally worth it to see your child successfully sitting at a table, dining with the family.
**Contact your therapist or teacher for more strategies for mealtimes.**