Make Social Engagement Kits

For most of the families that I work with, the family goals are social engagement, playing with toys appropriately, imitation, tolerating transitions, and appropriate attention-getting skills.

I have posted blogs previously that have touched on these topics.  As parents, you will be modeling verbal and/or signed language during all of your daily routines.  You can engage your child and encourage him to follow directions within the typical every day events and routines that your family experiences. Also . . .

Here are some very specific tips on how to set up your environment for socially engaging with your child in addition to those daily routines.

Environment

What does your child’s play environment look like?  If it looks cluttered and disorganized to you, it’s probably not calming to your child.  Many families have bins of toys which is fine but many parents report that their 2-year-old doesn’t actually play with any of the toys.  Instead he engages in dumping and throwing behaviors.  My suggestions to assist with creating a better visual environment is to go through each basket, box, or bag and ask yourself:

1. Is this something that my child uses in play?  Or, is this something that he moves around the room or dumps from a bin?
2. Will my child use this toy socially; taking it to another person to initiate play? Or is this a toy that he engages in but doesn’t play with appropriately or socially?
3. Is this a toy that my child can complete independently without getting frustrated?  Or, is this an activity that he always needs assistance with or he uses it for some other purpose such as throwing, banging, or chewing?

If your child is playing with toys appropriately and independently then these would be tasks that can be left out for independent play.  For the activities that your child needs assistance with should be placed in a box and used for a social play task with you.  You will be imitating appropriate play and social interaction during this time.

Leave out a few activities that your child is using independently and safely.  Choose a few categories such as:  books, building toys, stuffed toys, pretend play, vehicles, balls, and puzzles.  Place like toys together in boxes or bins.

If your child likes dumping and throwing, have something he CAN dump and throw, such bean bags.  When your child begins to engage in dumping or throwing other toys, redirect to the bean bags for appropriate play.

Downsize

If you have 80 blocks for one child, downsize to 10-12.  This is a manageable amount of blocks to build with and put away.  We want children to be successful with following directions to clean up.  If you have only 10 to pick up, you can put away 8 while your child follows the direction to put away 2, at the beginning.  Then you work up to your child putting away half, and then eventually, all of them independently.

Continue to downsize each activity:  (example) select a few puzzles, several books, and only a couple of stuffed toys.  Choose the toys that your child plays with and enjoys playing with socially as well.  Put the others away and change them out with the current toys every week or so.

Make Kits

The activities that your child is not yet independent with or is not playing with appropriately would be a good choice for an activity kit.  These are some of the kits that I use daily with my families:

1. Cars and vehicles with people that match
2. People (and animals) with daily routine items for pretend play:  beds, blankets, pillows, food, bathtub, chairs, slide/swing
3. Blocks/Legos
4. Plastic Food with Puppet
5. Dolls with snap on clothing or magnetic clothes
6. Potato Head with 8-10 pieces only
7. Connecting or Linking Toys
8. Art Supplies/Playdough
9. Puzzles
10. Musical Instruments

For each box, place the number of toys that you have determined your child has been comfortable playing with and can tolerate.  This is trial and error and you may not know for sure until you have socially engaged with this task with your child on several occasions.

If your child has a negative behavior or throws the toys, then try fewer items the next time and build up to taking more turns, and /or shorten the activity time.

Engagement Time

Use the kits for one-on-one engagement time with your child to increase attention, social engagement, fine motor skills, following directions, expressive language, receptive language . . . You get the point.  The skills you are working on are varied and vast!

Again, this is for engagement/play times that are in addition to your daily routines.

Get Comfortable

During your play time with your child, you want to be seated at relatively the same level.  Have your child sit in a booster/toddler chair at the table, in a high chair, or on the floor.

Watch the Time

We want all children to be successful during these play times with you so you want to limit the amount of time for each play session.  I always recommend several short sessions a day as opposed to just one long play session.  The reason for this is so your child will begin to tolerate these sessions through out the day if you end on a ‘happy note’ instead of ending the tasks when they are fussy or beginning to tantrum.

Choose wisely

Choose times that are best for you and your child.  For the most part, that would be when you are both well rested and not hungry.  If possible, choose times that are predictable; basically the same time each day.

Your child is much more likely to have a positive experience when he is expecting it to happen.  No surprises here.  When children (and adults) know what to expect, anxiety is lessened.

Use containers that you have in your recycling bin or buy some that are transparent and have secure lids.  Kits will help you stay organized and structured in your social play tasks with your children.  Enjoy!